Hmmmm, what a weird weekend. Well no, that isn’t quite right.
Hmmm, what a normal weekend with a weird bit in the middle.
On the one hand, it was very relaxing. I didn’t have to cook or wash up one-handed, I received presents, all my washing and ironing was done by mum, I went out in Wimbledon (just to the cinema because wild nights are out of the question at the moment due to the hand) and I met up with a good friend of mine.
And that was where it all got a bit weird.
You see, I’ve known this friend of mine for years and I also know that as far as the opposite sex goes – he was naïve and inexperienced, primarily due to his short stature and campness, not for lack of trying though, the slut. I’m hardly Don Juan, but this guy is shoooort. (Incredibly charming tho and a top bloke)
However… It would appear that the new girlfriend is somewhat more, more, well more experimental than his previous ones. For instance, I would have never of expected my good friend to say,
“You should ask her to put a finger up your brown eye just as you’re about to come – it’s fucking great”
Now who feels naïve? It's not that I haven't heard of it before, a couple other friends of mine have raved about it and the effects it had on their boyfriends, and I’ve politely declined such an offer more than once in the past (the words, ”I’m not into that sort of shit, thanks” can be used politely I assure you) – but I never expected this particular friend to come out with those words. Ever.
I’m of the belief that such things should be discussed by friends, but it really put me off my pint. For one thing, I’d never like to finish off the post-coital embrace hearing the words, “I’ll just go and wash my hands”. You never know, he might start getting a hard on whilst walking through customs :-)
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